Rarely ever does the news affect me
and never have I wrote a blog about what is going on in Hollywood but I feel
like this is necessary for me today, I just feel called tonight to write this
and it was kind of prompted by my tattoo artist as well from his statement he
made. I am tired of people talking about suicide by calling it selfish because
this is just not the case, not in the mind of someone who is battling
depression to the point of taking their life.
I have
been there. It is something that I battle often, depression, and only talk
about sometimes, but I’ve battled it in many forms throughout the past 6 or so
years of my life. It’s more than likely not just a thought someone has just
once, sometimes you fully recover, and sometimes you always have that thought
in the back of your mind.
Everyone
else is rarely what you are thinking of, it’s you but it’s not selfish. When
you are down in that hole of your life, all you want is a way out, something to
make you feel better, and sometimes the only way is up, and by that I mean to a
better place. Mine was my family and friends. I had lost a lot of people in my
life and I was tired of missing everyone, I just wanted to be with them.
Heaven.
Did I
not care what everyone else would think if I were to kill myself? Of course I
did, but I thought that either they would understand, not miss me, get over it,
or mostly be happy that I was finally ok and with the people I loved, where I
wanted to be most. I thought that they would be ok without me, now I know that
was not true, I was destined for so much more, to be a mother and for whatever
my life has in store for me, but at that time I could not imagine such a
future. I thought I was stuck, with nowhere to go, nothing else for me. I was
in college, not sure what to do with my life.
So what
does it look like? How do we find the hurting? Unfortunately sometimes, you
can’t tell. You don’t know ever know how much someone can be hurting inside.
This is why I challenge people to be nice to people always, you never know what
someone else is going through. On the outside I looked great. I was in a
fraternity with a lot of friends, my grades were good, I had a boyfriend, and
had a pending job offer. But inside, the hurt was so intense it was tearing me
apart. I’m not even sure anyone knew. I shocked my best friend who had
practically known me my entire life, to take me to the hospital, I needed help
before it was too late. I am blessed to say that even though I still battle depression, I no longer have had another thought of suicide.
I was
one of the fortunate ones, I asked for help, I knew I needed it. Some, aren’t
that lucky. I don’t think it’s fair to put down someone for an illness, no
matter what the circumstances. That’s what depression is an illness and
sometimes suicide is the end result. BE
KIND ALWAYS and watch what you say, just because you have never felt it,
doesn’t make it real for someone else.
If you
need help PLEASE seek it, I have been helped through therapy and medication!
THERE IS HOPE FOR YOU TOO! 1- 800-784-2433 if you have no one else you feel you
can talk to call the suicide hotline!
If you feel like you would like to share your experience
with me or have something you would like me to talk about in the blog email me
at: a_song4hope1123@yahoo.com
God Bless
- Adriene
Song
