I think that too many times we take
people way too for granted in this world, like we think and treat people like
they are always going to be there and love us. The truth of the matter is that
most people in our lives do not have to love us, they choose to and sometimes
we do things that make them stray or leave. I have lost friends in this world
many times through growing up, distance, not being a good friend though is what
is the worst and what I regret the most.
I wanted to talk about certain
issues in my life one at a time in each blog but what I have found is that it
is impossible for me. My life is what it is and it all runs together. Many
stories I will talk more about later in more detail so just bear with me and
keep following me.
Friendship is my theme for this
entry but more importantly how we treat people. My best friend I like to call
my little sister called me last night crying because her girlfriend had left
her. She told me how lately things had just seemed to fall apart and I had
noticed that in their relationship the girlfriend seemed to take a lot more
from my sister than she gave. We all are guilty of this. Why do we take so much
from people and expect them to not get hurt when we refuse to give back whether
it be feelings, money, time, ect. We have all found ourselves in these
situations and it really got me thinking about my past relationships with
people and what I could have done differently.
Recently I have reconnected with my
friends from high school. You see my senior year I got into a fight that
ultimately split our group up but more than anything left me isolated in the
end. I was horrible. I admittedly laughed and was BRAGGING about the fact that
I had made a girl that I once trusted with my whole life cry every single day
for a month before we graduated and pretty much ruined her life. The joke was
on me though in the end because after I left high school I was left with no
one. My sophomore year of college I really started missing these friends. I was
going through a rough time and everyone I usually went to since I was in the
sixth grade hadn’t talked to me in years. The next year I talked about this in therapy
to my councilor about it and cried, I told him that I knew she would never talk
to me again and that to be honest, I knew I didn’t deserve to be forgiven, I knew
I had wore out my share of chances.
She did, however, forgive me later
on that year and I cannot tell you how happy I am to have her back in my life.
Gaining her was the link that is bringing me back to my other friends as well. For
three years I have felt alone, hated, and mostly though I thought deserved it
and was ok with it. Her forgiveness is something I cannot explain, I just know
that it has saved my broken life.
Another lesson I want to tie into this
is be careful what you say to someone you never know when it could be the last
thing you say to them. I lost one of my best friends this past year (something
that I will write in more depth about later) but 3 days before he died I told
him I wanted him out of my life and never wanted to hear or see him again. Of course
at the time I thought that after a week or so I would forgive him and my other
friends I was mad at and everything would go back to normal, but this was not
the case.Three days later on Christmas morning when I got the call at 2am I
practically screamed as I cried hearing about how he crashed and was killed
instantly. I can never take those words back, I know he would forgive me but I
can never hear him say it and it is something that I will regret for the rest
of my life.
I challenge you, everyone who reads
this, to forgive someone close to you that you have hurt. You may not have to
tell them about it or maybe you do have to it’s however you feel about it. If
you have done something wrong to someone and want to tell them you are sorry,
it’s never too late even if you are crying on your knees in front of a stone
with a name on it. As hard as it seems treat everyone like it may be the last
time you see them and above all be thankful for everyone you have in your life.
If you feel like you would like to
share your experience with me or have something you would like me to talk about
in the blog email me at: a_song4hope1123@yahoo.com
God Bless
-
Adriene Song
